


It begins with death

by marcy_can_write



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU in which the Handmaid is the only one who dies, Collegestuck, Gen, Humanstuck, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-31
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-04-12 06:27:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4468742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marcy_can_write/pseuds/marcy_can_write
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>19-year-old Damara Megido is a lonely college student who keeps having shitty days and is stuck in her work-then-study routine. That is until she finds out that her mother, the Handmaid (who abandoned her in Japan when she was only four years old), has been murdered in a fight; so now Damara has to take care of her newfound, 13-year-old sister Aradia.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A shitty day

Your name is Damara Megido. And you’re having a shitty day.

Right now you are lying peacefully in your bed at your apartment, but the rest of the day was fucking awful. You knew it was going to be like that from the moment it started, because your alarm clock decided to take a day off; the only reason why you woke up is because you felt something was wrong. You dressed up as fast as you could, but that didn't stop you from arriving one hour late to your work at a restaurant. You are a waitress, serving food to grumpy customers and listening to your boss yelling at you. Today he is scolding you because of your late arrival, but any other day he would do it just the same; he doesn’t need a reason to yell, he does it as if his life depended on it. You never respond to him -you just shut up and nod- but you don't like it: words can have a big impact on you…

Your daily activities switch from studying and working. You finish your shift at the shitty restaurant, then hurry up to get to the University. You’re not studying a career right now since you can't really afford it, but you are taking a couple of courses there. The first class you have today is World History, your favorite. You didn't quite enjoy it as much as you usually do, because of stupid Meenah Peixes. She was sitting behind you, whispering the most pathetic stuff to her girlfriend, Aranea Serket, in the most loud way she could think of. You ask her to be quiet, which she does… for a couple of minutes. Then, she starts whispering again, this time louder. You tell her to shut up, and this time you mean it. Meenah sees how pissed off you look, and obeys you, only to start gossiping things about you to her blushing girlfriend -who actually wanted to pay attention to class- in a very low voice. It was not very low, since you could hear it.

After World History, you run to Math class. You don't hate the subject itself, but you do hate the class. The teacher is so slow and repetitive and annoying... Your brain is dead by the time you finish the class, but you have to wake up to get to your second job. (Moving through the city is such a drag, you swear) You also work at a cash register in a random pharmacy. Your boss is nice, yet she treats you as if you were an idiot, just because your first English isn't your first language. She is extremely annoying as she tells you very slowly what you're supposed to do. You just nod and insult her in Japanese, and then get to work, which is attending greedy customers who shoplift and nag you about the price of everything. You curse them too in Japanese.

After your second job, you have some free time, around 20 minutes, before your next class. You spend that free time in your tiny apartment; you usually spend it by taking a nap. Right now you are lying in your bed. It is barely noon, and you are already done with this day. Right now you are just there, thinking about everything and nothing. Even after all you've been through today, you feel calm enough to fall asleep…

Until you hear someone knocking at your door.

You decide to ignore whoever is it, but you fail, the person is too insistent. You groan and get up; so much for your nap. You open the door and see a couple of detectives holding their badges together.

“Yes?” You ask, a little bit annoyed.

“Miss… ¿Damara Megido?”

“Yes.”

“We come from the police department.” As if the badges weren’t too obvious. “We would like you to come with us.”

“Why?” You ask.

The two detectives look at each other a little bit unsure.

“Well, it has to do with your mother.” says one of them, in a sympathetic way.

You stare at the detective for a couple of seconds as you try to process that last word. Mother. You haven’t seen her in many, many years.

“何だ一体...？” You mutter to yourself. “なぜ地獄は、彼女が今まで表示されるでしょうか？” She left you when you were just a kid, without saying goodbye, without even contacting you in the later years. Why does she return to your life just like that? Why now?

“...Miss Megido?”

You don’t know if you want to see her again. As time passed by, you gathered some resentment towards your mother; yet, you are still curious about her: her person, her reasons…

“Miss Megido, would you come with us to the station, please?” the detective asks again.

You look up as you take in a big breath. You say “Yes” as you get moving with the other two people. You have made your choice, which is why you start shaking. You feel like you have no reason to do that, but at the same time you do.

* * *

 

You take a deep breath at what you just heard, while bluffly dropping on the back of your chair. You can’t believe it. You lie blankly while staring at nothing, while you try to process the information.

“You sure?” You ask, not sure of how to feel right now. You are not sad -just shocked- but should you? She was your mother after all, yet that was all you knew about her. Well, that and the fact that she abandoned you when you were only four years old. She left you in your homeland, Japan, just like that, so a loving bond between you two never happened.

The detective sitting at the other end of the table slid a folder with some pictures inside. You open it and see the pictures. They showed a faceless woman lying on her chest, on the pavement of a dark alley, with blood everywhere and three holes on her chest.

This was not how you expected to see your mother.

“Damara Megido, mostly known as “The Handmaid”, was found dead, with three stab wounds on her chest, on an alleyway near Main Street, at 6:00 AM by a meat delivery truck. According to the forensics department, the hour of death was between 1:00 AM and 3:00 AM. It took them several hours to identify the body, since it was already decomposing; also, our records don’t show much information about her. It was as if they were being erased..."

You shrug. You have no idea what the detective is talking about. She decides to move on:

"We found her will a couple of hours ago -that's how we heard about you. In it, she stated that it was her wish that you moved in to her house. Weeks before her death, she had bought a new house and it is now yours."

You nod. A new free house sounded nice.

"Her second and last wish was that you took legal custody of your little sister, Aradia."

Your eyes widen as you try to process that last piece of information.

"Sister?" 

 


	2. Your new sister

Your name is Aradia Megido. And you are having a terrible day.

 

Right now you are just sitting in a chair next to a cold table, inside a funny room filled with toys, staring blindly at the floor, because you are too weak to stare at the wall. You have like that ever since you heard the news: your mother has been murdered last night. Nobody knows who did it, but they do know it was a very ugly death: apparently she was in some fight and well… she lost. The police officers wouldn’t tell you the details. What they told you instead is that, since you’re only 13 years old, you will be under the care of someone else. Your older sister (whom you didn’t know existed until now) will move in with you from her old apartment, since your mother left it at her name in case something happened to her (something like death). She is six years older than you, and now she is to be your new legal guardian.

You find this to be a very awkward situation.

 

You miss your mother. She was barely home since she had a very demanding boss who made her travel very often- but still. Before this day, you at least knew she would be coming back, sooner or later. You always looked forward for her return, what will you look for now?

Well, for now you are still looking downward, at the floor. You think of the last time you saw your mother -how tight and warm was her last hug, how wide was her smile, how deep were her eyes: something seem odd about her, but right now you don’t care. You miss her already. You are used to that feeling, but this time it feels ten times sharper, and it will probably not go away.

You start crying. You didn’t know you could do that anymore.

The door of the room opens and in enters the same detective that drove you here. She greets you with a smile as she sits down on the chair at the opposite side of the table.

“I’m back.” she says. “I just talked to your sister, Damara. She is shocked to hear about what happened, too. She will come to see you in a minute.”

You nod. The detective continues talking:

“Aradia, there is something I’ve noticed, while checking your papers. I’ve noticed you haven’t gone to school in a very long time.”

“That is true.” you say

“Why?”

You know the answer very well, yet all you do is shrug and look away. You thought it was best not to talk about what happened. It was all a big mistake, plus, it happened a long time ago.

“Well, you should know that after your sister moves in with you, you will have to return to your school.”

“Ok.”

“Can I ask you another question?” the woman continues.

You nod.

“What things did your mother teach you? She was not a teacher.”

“Well… I don’t have the time to make you a list. But she taught me a little bit of everything. She was very smart.”

“I bet she was. And what exactly was her profession?”

You look up. You don’t know. You never knew.

“She… had a boss, who kept giving her jobs, for which she had to travel a lot."

“Do you know what kind of jobs did she had to do?”

You try to remember if your mom by any chance told you about them.

"No."

“I guess you don’t know who her boss was, either.”

You shake your head from side to side.

"She told me she has been working for him all her life, and that she hated him, but that was it. She never told me his name or his profession.” She never wanted you to know.

“I see. Well, thank you very much, Aradia. Damara should be here in any minute.”

And just as if the detective had summoned her, Damara entered the room. The first thing you notice about her is that she looks just like your mom, except that she is thinner. She was wearing a red blouse, red skirt, and white thigh high socks. Her black hair was tied up in a bun, with two chopsticks in it, and two locks hanging loose.

“Hello.” she says with a very nice tone, despite her seriousness. You instantly notice that she has a Japanese accent, just like your mom. “Damara. Nice to meet you.” She gives a kind smile: it looked sad and a little bit cracked. She looked as if she hadn’t smiled in a very long time, but she also looked like she meant everything she said.

“It is very nice to meet you too.” You try to smile but you can’t. “My name is Aradia.”

You two are led to an office, where Damara is to sign some papers, assuming the responsibility that is taking care of a child. You are told that you will receive financial support from Social Security for a couple of months, and that there will be bimonthly inspections to your new household to see if Damara was actually fit to take care of you (if she wasn't, you would be put in an orphanage). Damara nodded in agreement to everything that was said, then looked at you. You realize you were staring at her the whole time. You say nothing, yet you blindly grab her hand. You think you might like her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry guys, I changed some things from this chapter. I'm thinking of changing already-published chapters, so you might wanna read them again (or not). I'm sorry for taking so long, the last semester was just killing.


	3. Invader (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apparently Damara inherited the Handmaid's old apartment... great. So, she moves there to live with Aradia. On the way, she begins to wonder about many things: her mother's reasons to leave her that place, Aradia's emotional state and what will she do now.

The city looked as if it were moving around you while you were in the detective's car. The detective was taking you to your apartment to get your stuff; you had agreed to move in with your sister in her mom’s old apartment. It was now yours. You hope this one is better than the one you had: a clearly overpriced tiny cubicle with no functional services whatsoever.  
Today was a bright, active day, despite everything that happened. It was only 2 in the afternoon, so the sun was shining hard on top of all the cars that moved along with you. It was almost blinding. Aradia watches them go; she is sitting by the window in the backseat of the car, in the passenger's side. You are sitting in the opposite side, thinking about what the hell are you going to do next. You are now to take care of someone else, which takes money, much more than what you earn. You only have two jobs, one at the restaurant and one at the pharmacy, which have been enough to give you money for your own, but now that you have Aradia to take care of... You are thinking of getting another job. Maybe you could ditch another class from the University to do it. Or maybe you could ditch all of them. Because the only reason you are taking individual courses instead of a career was because you hoped you could pay the rest later. But now you are thinking there is no point to it.

...Yeah, you could ditch college, no big deal. You'll figure out what to do with the rest of your life later; it's not like you had Big Goals for yourself- you were never too ambitious. You think that maybe leaving college would be better for you, because you would be leaving all of the idiots you used to call friends behind. All of them. You could leave them with their drama and their issues behind. Yes. That sounds good.  
You grin while you make yourself comfortable in your seat. Then you take a look at Aradia to see how she's doing. She is still good, or at least she hasn’t said anything otherwise. She hasn't said a word in the whole ride; she was too busy staring at the cars that passed by. She was wearing a black blouse with her zodiac symbol inscripted in red, a long and grey skirt, stockings, and black shoes. She was holding an old, white fedora as if she would never let go of it. It was not the kind of fedora the so-called “friendzoned” used, but the actual kind that looked elegant and stylish. She had the longest, blackest hair you have ever seen; it's so long it could cover her like a blanket. She had pale skin and brown eyes. Her face was round (and fluffy); she was a chubby girl. Her lips were big and red, just like yours.  
She was adorable, yet she was sad.

 

After a long ride, the car finally arrives to your building.  
“Where are we?” Aradia asks.  
“My apartment. Need to get my stuff.” you answer while getting out of the car. You head quickly to the building and say hello to your landlord. While you began to explain to the nasty old man that you were moving out to a better place, you noticed Aradia getting next to you. Her face looked so innocent as she watched you talk to your landlord. She follows you upstairs to your apartment. You enter and gather your stuff without saying a word because, really, there was not much to say about it. You had only the basic stuff: a bedroom, a bathroom, and a kitchen. There were no decorations; if anything there was an old TV, but you decide to leave it there. You empty all of your closet and your bathroom, and put everything on one huge leather bag. You even stripped the mattress down and packed your two sets of bedsheets and your pillow. Aradia decided to help you and packed up all of your food and dishes in several plastic bags, which she carried by herself. Once you made sure you weren't missing anything, you exit the place. You go downstairs to say goodbye to the landlord and to give him your keys. Then he started rambling something about your rent, which you paid because the detective was nearby. You get to the detective's car again. You put all of your things, except the food, in the trunk of the car. Then you get in, knowing that your next destiny was the place where your mother used to live. The apartment she inherited you, of all people.  
You wonder why she did that. She didn’t talk to you in the past 15 years, so why does she care about where you live? Why now? Why did she wait until her death to contact you when she could have done that when she was alive?  
You looked so calm to everyone in the car, yet you were so resentful. Your mother abandoned you when you were only 4 years old. She did it in a simple way: you were both in a park, she told you to go to the playground all by yourself, you obeyed. You have not seen her ever since. You waited for her in the park all day long, until the police found you. Once they realized your mom was missing, they looked for her; and once they realized she was nowhere to be found, they put you in an orphanage. Even though times were tough in there, you had managed to be kind and patient with everyone. You managed to excel at school and had a lot of friends. Until you hit that one year in highschool... Things got ugly and have been ugly ever since. Even though you got accepted into college, these past years have been nothing but trouble for you. It was all disgraces and it was all to blame on her.  
And now, your mother was dead. And it turns out she had lived her life while she was gone. She had another daughter, one who was six years younger than you. She wasn't abandoned like you, but something tells you she wasn't happy like you would have been if you were in her place. She looked... very dead. It was kind of spooky. You watched her as her empty eyes focused on the floor. She also looked sad, teary-eyed, like a mess. You felt sorry for her.  
Unfortunately, talking to people and opening up to them was not your forté, so you kept your mouth shut.

 

The car ride was over, finally. You almost jump out of the car and rapidly gather all your belongings with you. Aradia gets out in a slow manner, still clutching her hat. You arrived to an old building at the edge of the city. It looks very gray, very old, and not very tall. You begin to wonder if this place is worse than the one you moved out of. Someone once told you that the first impression isn’t always the correct one. You told them you thought that was bullshit. Yet, here you are, repeating yourself that phrase, since you need to stay positive. After all, this was still a shitty day. Aradia began to walk towards the building. You were going to follow her until the detective stops you and gives you one final lecture about how, since you were your sister’s new legal guardian, you now had your responsibilities and obligations. A legal inspector was to visit you every six months to make sure everything was okay. She also told you Aradia was to return to her school next week. You would not, but that is not something the detective needs to know. You told her about your plans for work in order for her to approve and leave. You took your things and entered the building. You realize you don’t know which apartment is the one. Shit. You are left with no choice than to explore the place. It is smaller on the inside. It had only two apartments per floor, and there were only four floors. You know that now, because you had to climb all of them. Some of the apartments had their doors open, with people coming out of them -your new neighbours. They would stare at you until you looked at them; then they would hide behind their doors, but you were sure they were still watching you through their peepholes. You finally arrive to the final floor when you look up and see Aradia sitting at the open door. This girls is kinda spooky, you think. She doesn’t speak. Instead she waves you to follow her into the apartment. You were impressed to see it.  
"Nice." You say. It was not too big, not too small. Its most noticeable detail was that there were many different types of plants everywhere; sitting on the floor, hanging from the ceiling, lying on every table available… The kitchen was on your left; lit by a lonely light bulb that made it look gray. There was a lot of food but no table; only a bar and some stools to sit on, in front of the sink and next to the stove, which looked old and in serious need of repair along with the noisy fridge. The whole place looked old and noisy, yet it was better than the apartment you used to live in, you conclude. How sad is that?  
Parallel to the kitchen was was a huge window, occupying an entire wall, covered with a thick, long curtain which looked heavy because it was made of velvet. The window had a door, which led to a balcony. You bet you could see the whole city from there, like you were some sort of eye in the sky. Between this gigantic window and the kitchen was a red couch and the TV. Thank goodness they had one. It was a big, heavy box that was lying on top of a old, apparently fragile piece of furniture made of glass and wood imitation. In the corner of the room was a desk surrounded by two slim, tall-ish bookshelfs filled with books, pictures and, of course, plants. You were walking around the apartment as if you were in a museum, careful not to touch anything. Aradia was sitting in one of the kitchen stools, watching you look at every detail of the room. The walls were covered with a green tapestry with an odd pattern that was starting to fall down from the corners. You sensed there a theme going on: green, red and gold. This place was definitely not your style; it wasn’t even yours to begin with. You’re an invader in this house and you’re here only by accident.  
Still, you leave your things on the couch. You look back to Aradia, who is still observing you quietly, with that dead look. You thought you were scary, but that’s because you had never met this girl. She gives you the spooks. She smiles at you, but you can tell she is forcing herself.  
“You hungry?” You ask her.  
She nods before you get to finish your question.  
“Fine. We go eat.”  
You grab your bag and leave with your sister. It was odd to think she was your family, and that you now have to take care of her. It was odd to think this was your house now, and that you have to maintain it. You need to leave and think for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I am incredibly sorry I haven't updated this in a year, I honestly can't believe myself. I have been through very rough times at school and have been involved with many other projects, but I assure you that I will continue with this fanfic even though it will take me a huge while (and even though Homestuck has ended, wow).


	4. Questions and silences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aradia and Damara go out to have dinner and a conversation that is basically just questions, answers and awkward silences.

Say something, anything. You keep telling yourself to break the silence. But you can't think of anything to talk about. You have too much information to assimilate. Your mother's death, your sister's appearance... But you have to deal with it. And you can begin by talking to Damara. You can start with the basics.  
"Hello."  
She looks at you with a lit cigarette in her mouth. She replies with the same word. You show a little smile, insecure of what to do next. You stay silent.  
Oh, c’mon. You know you’re better than that, why can’t you say something? You used to be so active and friendly, what happened to you?  
You know darn well what happened, a little bit more than a year ago.  
You thought you were seeing your friend, but instead saw a light coming towards you -that is all you remember from that moment, besides that feeling of excitement-then-confusion that made quick way for a coma that lasted months. Your mother took care of you only when her job gave her time for you. You woke up with the impression that you were a ghost: empty, careless. You kept feeling like that after you left the hospital, came home, talked to your friends; even when you went out to avenge yourself you felt nothing. But now, this is different. You feel everything now.  
You begin to feel nervous. Why, though? You didn't feel anything for the past year; now, you feel everything. From sadness, to joy, to anger, and everything in between. You were sure you had become unable to have feelings for the past year since the incident. It was almost as if you were dead, or a robot. But apparently, you are human again. You were nervous and curious about your new sister. She seemed very interesting. You couldn't think of anything clever to say to her, yet you insist to keep talking.  
"My name is Aradia."  
"I know.” Of course she knew. “My name is Damara. Nice to meet you.” To your surprise, she seems nice to you  
Ok. What comes next?  
If she seemed so interesting, maybe you should ask her more about her life. Who she is, what she does, and stuff.  
“Are you okay?” the question you didn’t know had to be asked came from her lips, as she gave you a genuine look.  
“What do you mean?”  
“Mother died. How are you feeling?”  
You shrugged, unable to name the answer. However, you are capable of repeating the question to her.  
“Not the news I wanted to hear, after all these years.” she answers. “Felt weird. Didn’t know her much, but still…”  
You could tell that was sincere, yet there was something else she wouldn’t show. You weren’t going to push her into talking about that. Time will make her open up to you.  
“Where are we going?” you ask.  
“Told you. We go get diner.”  
Oh, that’s right. You forgot.  
“Where to?”  
She shrugged as in saying “Dunno, anywhere. Don’t know this part of town.”  
“There’s a sandwich shop two blocks from here. My mom and I always went there when we didn’t feel like eating at home. It’s her favorite place.” Or was, you remind yourself as soon as you finish the sentence. And she was Damara’s mom too, by the way.  
You look at your sister, whose answer was due. Her gaze was empty now. She quickly started thinking hard, you notice, but what about?  
“Wanna go?” you ask.  
“Yes. I want to meet there.” Her words were now heavy with extra meaning.

Green and red neon lights shone against the black sky, a beige wall and the city lights to scream “Patrash sandwiches”. Much like your apartment, this place was old. You liked them both the same, you always had fascination for old things, the older the better. You lead your sister through a crystal door, next to a gigantic window. Little golden bells that hung from the ceiling announced your arrival, as they were pushed forward by the door. Few people were inside, only two couples seated in separate tables, two out of six.  
Damara was looking in every direction she could. She was inexpressive; you still wondered what she was thinking about. Her eyes observed the white squares that made the ceiling (one of them was broken, exposing a black void), the old, big, brown ceiling fan, the bright tiles that conformed the floor, and the beige walls that had cracks. “Huh” was her only comment. The walls also had many old pictures of big sandwiches with coca-cola cups and pieces of cake.  
“Over here.” you guided her to the cashier under a hanging sign that read “Order here”. The menu was behind, with more pictures similar to the ones on the walls. You ordered a parmesan chicken sandwich -the usual- and a bottle of water. You look at your sister while she stares at the menu. “Tuna sandwich.” she orders. “And soda.” then proceeded to sit at the table the closest to the window and the farthest from the soda fountain.  
You keep staring at Damara; indeed, she looked exactly like your mother.  
“So…” If you really want to know more about her and her life, just ask. “What have you been doing with your life?”  
You took her by surprise with that question. She looked down, blinking fast, thinking of an answer. She took her time. The sandwiches arrived to your table faster than her words; you refuse to touch your food until the silence is broken. You both are static.  
“Many things.” she says finally, and you both start moving, as if you were in a movie and someone pressed “Play”.  
You feel somewhat sorry to drop such a heavy question on her.  
“I was born in Japan.” she continued. “Mom lived there, but she left. I was little. And alone.” You began to feel sad for her. “I moved to here because I heard she lived here too. Thought I could find her here. I was wrong.” she concluded.  
You looked down, yet again in mourning. Silence invaded your table again.  
“Your friends…” You wanted to know about them, but didn’t know how to phrase the question.  
Luckily, she understood what you meant.  
“No friends.” she answered quickly and almost aggressively.  
“Oh.”  
“You?” she returned the question.  
“I have many friends. Still.” Even after all what happened and is happening, they are still your friends. You think so.  
Silence. You both take a bite to your respective sandwiches and a sip to your respective beverages.  
“Listen…” Damara began speaking while you kept eating. “The police said you don’t go to school…” You gulped, this was serious. “Why?”  
Oh dear, here goes a long story. You told her about the game you used to play with Tavros, Terezi and Vriska; how Vriska paralyzed Tavros, so you punished, and she punished, and Terezi punished, and Vriska ended with the last laugh. You were talking non-stop about the subject, while Damara listened very carefully, looking as if she were taking mental notes.You told her how you ended up in the hospital, with your mother taking care of you- you felt like a ghost all that time. Either how, you remained in contact with your friends while in the hospital (amazing what we can do with the internet nowadays), you even played a very long game with them. Time passed, and you managed to recover from the incident, yet you left the hospital a different Aradia than the one that entered. One of the first things you did was to beat the everlasting shizzle out of Vriska; you left her bleeding on the floor. Damara seemed to smile when hearing this part; she seemed to remember something similar that happened to her.  
You have been feeling empty ever since, until now. Now you are feeling all sorts of emotions in front of Damara.  
“You go back to school.” She asks?  
“Yes. I have to.” You smile, growing slightly nervous at the thought of it. “You?”  
“No. Decided to quit. Don’t like it there. Will work full time instead.”  
“Oh.” You gasp. “Doing what?”  
“Work as a waitress already.” She grunted. “I hate it.” She smiled, somewhat miserably, while looking down. She later looked up, her gaze fixing into something. A different kind of smile grew on her face, an idea sparked in her mind.  
“What?” you ask, and turn to look at whatever she is observing.  
“Now hiring.” A sign pasted on the cash register.  
“How did I not see that before?” you ask. You look at your sister. An answer came to her. You had the feeling that things could, and will, get better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry once again this chapter is late. I have so many distractions and so many writer's blocks, but do not fret. I definetly do not plan to leave this fanfic unfinished, even if it takes me years to finish it (it literally is). So thank you for reading, I really appreciate it. I also appreciate your comments very much. <3


	5. Invader (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After that nice, hopeful meal, Damara and Aradia return home with high spirits. However, Damara can't help feel like an invader in that place -her mother's place.

Aradia opened the door to your apartment while you reminded yourself that you also had the keys for it. You inherited them from your mother, you remember. You inherited many things from her, like this apartment. You keep having trouble letting that sink in, but then again: all of this has happened in one day. Aradia enters the apartment in a good mood. You are surprised to see her so cheerful; she is the same girl who looked so sad when you met her this afternoon. Or maybe she just looked like that in comparison to you. You were the quiet one in this conversation of two that started in the sandwich shop.

“So you plan to work there?” she asked you while you turned on the lights.

“Yes. I will ask on Monday.”

“It would be so cool if you worked there, you could give me free sandwiches!”

You smile as a little laugh escaped your lips. Aradia looked at your face firmly. Her eyes became wide and you could tell she was invaded by a feeling of nostalgia. Her face was almost… saddened.

“What?” you ask.

“Oh.” She gave a faint smile. “I didn’t tell you before but you look exactly like Mom. When you smiled like that it was almost as if she was there.”

You didn’t know how to respond to that.

“It’s late.” you said, evading the subject. “Will go to sleep. Take shower first.”

“Oh, sure. You can sleep in Mom’s room, it’s the door of the right at the end of the hallway. The one in the center is the bathroom.”

You nod. Aradia went to her bedroom, the door of the left at the end of the hallway, and wished you good night before she closed her door. You stood in the middle of the living room, frozen for a while. Watching your shadow stretch with the lonely kitchen light.

You unstuck yourself, got your bag of clothes, and headed to the bathroom. It matched the rest of the apartment: it looked old, and was filled with plants and little objects of all sorts of things that served as decoration. You had to admit, the whole place had its charm -your mother was a woman with good taste. The bathroom’s wall was filled with simple, square, light green tiles. The toilet and the sink were also green, but darker. The floor was the same as the rest of the apartment, yet it was decorated with green fluffy bath mats placed in front of the toilet and the bathtub. The dim greenish light made the room feel surreal, in a strange way you couldn’t explain.

You noticed there was a bathtub (with an integrated shower). Now, this was a luxury -never in your life had you used one. You took off your clothes and let down your hair while you filled it, then made sure the water was warm before you got in. You sat down inside the warmth, which ironically made your shoulders feel cold whenever they were not submerged along with the rest of your body.

You instantly felt disappointed by the experience: is this really it? Sitting down in the middle of water, what was so special about it? Next time you’re taking a shower. You reclined your head and looked up to the white, texturized ceiling. What were you thinking about? You don’t know exactly how to put it. Everything. Nothing. Your head was in such a state where millions of unrelated thoughts crossed it like arrows or shooting stars. Pick your comparison. They left as fast as they came. Even when your head is in involved in such movement, you feel an unusual type of calm. An unexpected type of well being. You submerged your head and then a single thought took over your mind: invader. That’s what you are right now. You remind yourself that this home, this bathroom, this moment, they don’t belong to you. Or better yet, you don’t belong to them, to here. You are inside a place and a situation that are not yours, but your mother’s. Aradia said you look just like her, but you are not her. You get your head out of the water and begin to notice she is everywhere. Every plant, every decoration; the whole environment is reminiscent of her. You begin to wash yourself as a distraction, even though it’s all useless. The feeling of being an outsider fills you as you empty the bathtub, all wrapped in a dark green towel. Even that makes you think of her. You put on your underwear and the gigantic red shirt you call your pijama. The contrast of colors proves your point. You are all red while she was all green. You brush your teeth as fast as you can, then rush out of the bathroom, desperate to sleep.

Your mother’s bedroom is waiting for you. You pressed the switch for the lights and noticed one that was for the air conditioner. You turned that one too and a huge rectangle on the top of the wall in front of you started making noise. At the center of that wall was the bed. Queen sized, its frame had neither head nor footboard, so you think you could hit your head against the wall, were it not for the pillows already included in the bed. Simple white pillows against rich red covers. Another thing you had to admit: this bed looked better than the one you had. Another gigantic window filled in for the wall to your left, covered by yet another green velvet curtain. You opened it and saw what you could from the city. Tiny yellow dots in a blackish blue background. Not very interesting, right now. The last wall left had a built in closet and a dresser full of cosmetics, cheap jewelry, and a pair of hair chopsticks. There were also a few pictures, all of them of Aradia and her. See? Invader. You don’t belong here.

You sigh, oh-so-tired. You throw yourself on the bed, closing your eyes. Millions of thoughts about your mother crossed your head like arrow, leaving as fastly as they entered, at the speed your life had changed today. You just want everything to stop, maybe not forever, but just for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a short chapter (and mostly descriptive) I will work on making them longer and upload them soon. Thank you for reading!


End file.
